Hushme, A Bane-Style Mouth Cover That Masks Your Speech

March 16, 2017


This is a promotional video for the Hushme, a ridiculous looking piece of technology that muffles and masks your voice while you're on the phone so your coworkers can't hear you talk about how much you hate all your coworkers. Me? I let them know loud and proud. Hey Phil-- "Eat shit and die, I know, I know." You got it buddy!

"Hushme is a personal acoustic device that protects speech privacy in open space environments."

the Hushme website claims the device includes customized voice-masking sounds like a monkey screeching, Darth Vader breathing, and a Minion laughing.

Other muffling options include the sound of the ocean, wind, rain, birds, squirrels, and R2-D2. Although I think the monkeys screeching and Minion laugh stand the best chance of driving a coworker to attempted murder. And that's what this is all about, right -- paid short-term disability leave for a work stabbing? PROTIP: Wear chain-mail covered in ketchup packets under your work shirt.

Keep going for the commercial while I demand a video of somebody using this thing to call a phone-sex line during a business meeting to prove it works.

Thanks to Valerie, who agrees the best means of privacy over the phone is talking entirely in code. Copy that, red 41 banana flippers, over.

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