These are t-rex wine bottle holders. They come in two varieties: alive ($24), and dead ($32). Personally I like the live one, but I've gotten drunk with a dead friend before and it was traumatizing. Mostly because I didn't realize he was dead until I was saying goodbye, I just assumed I was a very captivating storyteller, which I am.
Keep going for a couple more shots of each while I email the manufacturers about whether these are sex toy safe.
Thanks to my friend Jackie, who knows what I like, and I like dinosaurs.