Dreams Really Do Come True: A Hidden Valley Ranch Fountain

March 21, 2017


This is the $100 Ranch Out With Hidden Valley ranch fountain. It can hold two pounds of ranch and comes with a year supply of Hidden Valley to get you started. *reads product description* Wait -- here it says it only includes twelve 36-ounce bottles of Hidden Valley Ranch. I think I speak for all HV Ranchoholics when I say that is not a year supply. I can easily kill a 36-ounce bottle a week, and that's assuming I'm not going through a bad breakup. Or a good breakup. Actually that's just assuming I'm not dead.

Thanks to lizzy, who's trying to start a Church Of Ranch and that sounds awesome I wanna be the kid that snuffs the ranch-scented candles out after service.

  • GeneralDisorder

    Questions: Why? Also Gross?

  • The_Wretched

    Mostly so you can share germs with the idiots who double-dip or breathe / sneeze / fart / cough / dust near the fountain

  • Titty McNipplefondler

    Can't wait to see these at the hometown buffet. Just slide my salad under the falls, perfection.

  • Dano

    Replace it with Uncle Dan's Ranch and I'm in.


  • failquail

    Heh, i just had to google Hidden Valley Ranch because this is the first time i've ever heard the name :P

    USA-thing or me just being oblivious?

  • TheQiwiMan

    USA-thing. (though I have learned from my own painful experience one can be unaware of something from another country AND be oblivious, so they're not exactly mutually-exclusive) :-P

  • Big Dog on Krampus

    waiting for the honey mustard ice luge

  • Jenness

    I immediately envisioned myself walking up and with my plate of salad and attempting all sorts of stupid ways to get the ranch while getting more and more frustrated with each attempt while making a huge mess.

  • TheQiwiMan

    Ur adorable when u r drunk.

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