Dreams Really Do Come True: A Hidden Valley Ranch Fountain

March 21, 2017

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This is the $100 Ranch Out With Hidden Valley ranch fountain. It can hold two pounds of ranch and comes with a year supply of Hidden Valley to get you started. *reads product description* Wait -- here it says it only includes twelve 36-ounce bottles of Hidden Valley Ranch. I think I speak for all HV Ranchoholics when I say that is not a year supply. I can easily kill a 36-ounce bottle a week, and that's assuming I'm not going through a bad breakup. Or a good breakup. Actually that's just assuming I'm not dead.

Thanks to lizzy, who's trying to start a Church Of Ranch and that sounds awesome I wanna be the kid that snuffs the ranch-scented candles out after service.

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