Cheer Up, Little Guy: A Unicorn Candle That Cries Rainbows

March 22, 2017

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This is the $25 Crying Unicorn Candle available from Firebox. It's made of white ceramic with a spiral wax horn that makes it cry rainbows when lit. Plus it comes with two extra horns so you can really let those rainbow tears build up before having to switch to regular tapered candles from Target. Personally, I feel like they should have gone with a dripping rainbow out of the butt design, because nobody really wants to see a unicorn cry. That makes me sad. Unicorns pooping rainbows? That makes me happy. Me pooping rainbows? That makes me want to call my doctor immediately. Hello, doc? So I've been pooping rainbows for like the last 24 hours. "You should come in right away." What -- what? Why?! I was just calling to brag.

Keep going for two more shots.

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Thanks to treelover, who loves trees, likes bushes, but only tolerates grass.

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