I'd Try It: Japanese Spreadable Coffee For Toast

February 28, 2017


To celebrate the 55th anniversary of its coffee brand's release, Snow Brand Milk of Japan is selling this smooth, spreadable coffee for toast or crackers or fruit or foreplay. Apparently Snow Brand Milk coffee is already sweet and creamy, so it might actually work well as a spread for toast. Plus it still has CAFFEINE. Obviously, I'm going to rub some on my nipples and lick it off for a little mid-morning pick-me-up. "Um, is GW breast-feeding himself again?" You can stare all you want but if you take a picture it'll last longer. I'm serious I don't care this is perfectly natural you people need to grow up and stop calling HR on me.

Thanks again to lizzy , who agrees the easiest way to stay caffeinated is never letting it leave your system. "GW, please tell me you don't have a rubber band around your penis." It works, I'm totally wired right now.

  • James Mcelroy

    how do i buy this?

  • MustacheHam

    The internet has many wonderful ways of getting the things you desired. This includes spreadable coffee for toast.

  • James Mcelroy

    Wow thanks! I will seek out this "internet" and see if they have a way to acquire this. Thanks!

    if this internet can't/won't come through, does anyone have a link to a product page or anything, I can't seem to locate a retailer.

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  • Cheese

    Selling your sagging, torn butthole for crack money is not really considered as legitimate employment.

  • Jenness


  • Jenness

    Bet it won't be long before some frazzled parent makes their kid's lunch with this and the kid will be all hopped up on the sandwich and all hell breaks loose at school after the kid eats this and then drinks some caffeine tea or something.

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