This is the gritter bicycle developed by cycle insurer ETA of the UK. It can carry and spread up to 50kg (~110 pounds) of salt to help keep bike lanes ice and snow-free. I'm not sure how much distance that covers, but hopefully at least enough to get you to somewhere that sells hot cocoa. Whatever works. Alternatively, spread salt the same way I do: sparingly, and only on my mashed potatoes and vegetables. I have high blood pressure and my doctor says my next jerky binge could kill me.
Keep going for a short video of the gritterbike in action.
Thanks to Yannick and Sebastian, who agree a flamethrowing bike also would have also been an acceptable solution.