The Bacon Express: A Toaster Specifically For Bacon

January 23, 2017

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This is the Bacon Express (not to be confused with Jack Burton's Pork-Chop Express from Big Trouble In Little China), a $50 toaster made specifically for cooking bacon. But can it also warm hand towels? The Bacon Express can cook up to six strips of regular or thick cut bacon in minutes and has a removable drip tray for catching grease so you can drink it. You ever drank a cup of bacon grease before? I have. I could literally feel my heart struggling to maintain circulation. You know what my doctor told me the last time I went for a checkup? "What are you doing here? I cancelled your appointment because I assumed you'd be dead." That guy! I left with a handful of boner pills and a Highlights magazine.

Keep going for a couple more shots and a video.

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Thanks to Dave L, who cooks bacon the old fashioned way: with the fiery breath of his pet dragon. Must be nice.

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