Bluetooth Connected Jeans Vibrate To Give Directions

January 12, 2017


Seen here attending a topless denim festival, a group of women model their Spinali Design Essential jeans (and shorts and skirt, $76 - $109). The jeans can connect to a phone's GPS app via Bluetooth and vibrate either the left or right leg to let you know which way to turn so you don't have to look at your phone. They can also vibrate to let you know that you've got a text or email, because clearly those are the feature pants have been missing all our lives.

But the most interesting feature of the Essential smart jeans is also the most controversial. It's called the 'ping' and it basically allows you to make another wearer's jeans vibrate when you want to get their attention. "This is useful for when you want to discreetly attract someone's attention, or for open offices, or for students," Spinalli claims. I guess you can say this gives the phrase "getting into someone's pants" a whole new meaning.

The Essential jeans have a built-in, non-removable battery that the French company claims should last four years if you use the GPS feature once a week. If you use it less than that, it should last more.

Awesome, so we can get matching vibrating jeans so we can 'ping' each other discreetly during boring business meetings. Whatever happened to spitballs? Besides, I don't want vibrating GPS jeans, I just want a pair of jeans that make my penis look respectable. "It's called a sock." I don't wear socks. "No, put a sock IN your jeans." But that's not where socks go. Are you speaking in code or something? Have you been kidnapped?

Keep going for a weird video.

Thanks again to hairless, who uses earth's magnetic fields for navigation like a bird. Cool! Which way to the nearest beer store?

  • How do you wash jeans with a non-removable battery?

  • Titty McNipplefondler

    boobies boobies boobies boobies!

  • Andyman7714

    I picture women Google mapping themselves into a frenzy.

  • Paul Atreides

    What the fuck asshole? This picture is NSFW.

  • Guesticle

    shouldn't be on geekologie at work anyway

  • And neither is your language.
    Bad boy - see me after class.

  • Bubbubsky

    "We're serious business women! And to prove it, let's model the denim products in the super-skankiest way possible!"

  • Talon184

    Now if only denim jackets would come back in style...they might have a winner of a product on their hands!

  • That's all I could think. Are we ignoring the fact that the "canadian tuxedo" isn't an actual style anyone is going for? Even Canadians are over it.

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    I think I just felt my jeans vibrate a little.

  • Was that video an advert for something?
    Because it came across as soft porn.

  • It wasn't soft for me.

  • Gilbert

    Alright, who else had completely inappropriate thoughts after seeing the headline and then seeing the photo?

    I can't be the only guilty party here...

  • Roronoa Zoro

    Oh, I thought those ladies went around without a top on. Not sure why they lost them for the photo shoot though.

  • Big Dog on Krampus

    this is what Jay Leno uses to secretly pleasure himself

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