Am I Dead Yet?: A Computer Mouse That Measures Your Heart Rate

January 3, 2017


This is a new $71 computer mouse from Japan's Sanwa Supply that measures your heart rate. It's the perfect mouse to use to determine whether or not your job is actually killing you (it totally is), or if you're about to have a heart attack masturbating (you totally are). It then uploads the data to a PC app (smartphone apps coming soon) so you can look at a bunch of charts and graphs that mean almost nothing to you. I'm really glad I bought this.

The three button wireless mouse comes with a sensor on the left side (sorry lefties) that measures your heart rate. Sit still, place your thumb on the sensor and in some seconds the mouse records your heart rate. Along with this it also measures the clicks and distance the mouse has traveled. For the really stressful jobs users can assign a preset heart rate and if you cross the threshold a waning is sounded and flashed.

Alternatively, get a Fitbit or any of the other million heart rate monitoring devices on the market. I got a Fitbit for Christmas and I mostly use it to see just how high I can get my heart rate by breathing hard and scaring myself. Plus it monitors my sleep and I've learned I'm the world's shittiest sleeper. Apparently last night I was in bed for seven hours, asleep for two of those, restless for four, and awake crying and petting the dog for one. I'm a health nut.

Keep going for a video in case you needed a video (SPOILER: You did not).

Thanks to rahul, who agrees the best mice don't monitor heart rates at all, they run around between the walls of your house making squeaky noises at night.

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