Note: Larger version HERE in case you want to take your move to Middle Earth seriously.
This is a flowchart you can use to decide where you belong in Middle Earth in case you're vacationing there soon and not sure if The Shire or Mordor is right for you. Me? I don't need a flowchart to know where I belong in Middle Earth. "In the lava of Mount Doom with Gollum?" Wow. You know it's times like these I'm convinced you know me better than I know myself.
Thanks to carey, who's convinced she doesn't belong in Middle Earth at all, but Top Earth.