Oh Wow, Okay: A Phone Peripheral For Sending Realistic Feeling Kisses

December 27, 2016

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The Kissenger is an iPhone peripheral that two people can use to send kisses to one another. How? Let me copy/paste that for you while I practice kissing my teddy bear. What? One day there's going to be a frog that needs me to turn her back into a princess and I plan on becoming king.

High precision force sensors are embedded under the silicon lip to measure the dynamic forces at different parts of your lips during a kiss. The device sends this data to your phone, which transmits it to your partner over the Internet in real time. Miniature linear actuators are used to reproduce these forces on your partner's lips, creating a realistic kissing sensation. Kissenger provides a two-way interaction just like in a real kiss. You can also feel your partner's kiss on your lips when they kiss you back.

Man, I can't wait to use one of these in public. I am going to send everybody I know the most sensual, sloppiest kisses I can muster. "Um, is that guy licking his phone?" THIS IS HOW THE FRENCH DO IT. "Now he's putting it down his pants." Don't act like that's not why they made this in the first place. "This checkout line is taking forever." Listen -- I'll be with you just as soon as I finish ringing this gentleman up.

Keep going for one more shot of DUAL UNITS.

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Thanks to Jeremy K, who likes to put lipstick on his Kissenger before kissing it for added realism.

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