Oh Wow, Okay: A Phone Peripheral For Sending Realistic Feeling Kisses

December 27, 2016


The Kissenger is an iPhone peripheral that two people can use to send kisses to one another. How? Let me copy/paste that for you while I practice kissing my teddy bear. What? One day there's going to be a frog that needs me to turn her back into a princess and I plan on becoming king.

High precision force sensors are embedded under the silicon lip to measure the dynamic forces at different parts of your lips during a kiss. The device sends this data to your phone, which transmits it to your partner over the Internet in real time. Miniature linear actuators are used to reproduce these forces on your partner's lips, creating a realistic kissing sensation. Kissenger provides a two-way interaction just like in a real kiss. You can also feel your partner's kiss on your lips when they kiss you back.

Man, I can't wait to use one of these in public. I am going to send everybody I know the most sensual, sloppiest kisses I can muster. "Um, is that guy licking his phone?" THIS IS HOW THE FRENCH DO IT. "Now he's putting it down his pants." Don't act like that's not why they made this in the first place. "This checkout line is taking forever." Listen -- I'll be with you just as soon as I finish ringing this gentleman up.

Keep going for one more shot of DUAL UNITS.


Thanks to Jeremy K, who likes to put lipstick on his Kissenger before kissing it for added realism.

  • Guesticle

    no tongue

  • Robert A'Beuy

    Now where have I seen this before...


  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.
  • TheQiwiMan

    Okay, who wants to try this out with me? I'll buy you one and we can test it out.

    Atheistgirl? Jenness? Ollie Williams? It wouldn't be the first time I paid for some action, and it won't be the last!

  • Ollie Williams

    Yes, but I saw no prices.

  • TheQiwiMan

    That war criminal scumbag has the word "kiss" in his name.

  • Ollie Williams

    I'll give this a week before someone uses it for virtual cunnilingus.

  • AaaronG

    I came here to say that.

  • Konstantin

    I'm pretty sure some of the people camping in line will want it for this reason only, so if it's however long it takes them to get at least to their car, I'll consider it a win.

  • Jenness

    Not even that long

  • Ollie Williams

    Already got yours pre-ordered then, did you?

  • Jenness

    That obvious huh? Just waiting for the late night TV ad featuring Mr. Hot Lips professional phone kiss operator line to open up for $1.99 a minute now.

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