Modern Heroes: Adult Toy Store Employees Fend Off Armed Robber By Throwing Products

December 19, 2016


This is security cam footage from the Lotions & Lace adult toy store in San Bernardino, California. It features an armed would-be robber who fails to rob because the two employees start yelling and throwing sex toys at him. It just goes to show, the dildo is mightier than the pistol. Still, those women were brave and I'd like to know what the one in front was yelling because it looks like she has a gift. Also, was he going after the money or sex toys? Because if you don't have the money to buy sex toys you don't rob an adult toy store, you go to the Dollar Tree and get creative. I make sex toys with stuff I've bought from there all time. See -- check this out. "It looks like a bunch of plastic starfish glued to krazy straws glued to a party hat." That's exactly what it is, and it can pleasure more than six people simultaneously. Total cost? $3.27. I should have my own frugal shopping reality show.

Keep going for the security footage, although, admittedly, it's kinda lackluster. I was hoping to see a floppy four-footer smack this guy in the head.

Thanks to HeavySleeper, who agrees any adult toy store robbery that results in the shop's security cam footage being released is a violation of privacy for the people who were trying to shop there discreetly. That's why I always wear a disguise.

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