Meet the Fondoodler (a combination of fondue, a melted cheese dip, and doodler, a penis), a $25 electric hot glue style gun for use with cheese. It can melt string, shredded, block and sliced cheese and extrude it from the heated tip for drawing, decorating, or being the cement that holds your cracker castle together. Alternatively, just squirt it straight into your mouth like a can of warm spray cheese. I can't even believe they're trying to pretend like that's not what this is for. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? "Hot cheese body shots?" *winks, takes off shirt to reveal bear costume*
Keep going for several more shots and a video of somebody showing off their alphabet writing skills on Ritz crackers.
Thanks to lizzy, who agrees cheese should actually form the base of the food pyramid. Makes sense to me.