Because robots are constantly trying to prove their superiority over humans, this is a video of a robot solving a Rubik's cube in 0.637 seconds. For reference, that's the same time it takes me to make a terrible first impression on a date. Why the hell did you try to hug her with a booger on your hand? You know she saw you with your finger in your nose when she walked in, you should have just run to the bathroom and given yourself a bloody nose and blamed it on dry weather. Oh my God your zipper's down too! Okay, okay -- try to stay calm, we can recover from this. Plan B: excuse yourself to the restroom, go into a stall, get on your knees, lift the toilet seat, THEN BEAT YOURSELF IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH IT UNTIL YOU PASS OUT IN THE BOWL AND DROWN.
Keep going for the video.
Thanks to Dave D S, who could have easily beat that robot with a hammer.