Seen here looking like inside of a shitterless outhouse, this is the wine fountain on the grounds of the Dora Sarchese Vineyard in Caldari di Ortona, Italy. It pours their current vintage of Montepulciano d'Abruzzo wine with the push of a lever. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? "We should bring a jug." Heck yeah, we should a bunch of them. Plus an expensive cheese and charcuterie plate for snacking. We are fancy people, after all. "Then why is your mouth all red?" That's not wine, Grimace promised me a 20-piece NcNuggets if I kissed him. "Then why is your stomach still growling?" Because it was actually the Kool-Aid Man in disguise and he has no pull at McDonald's.
Keep going for several more shots and a video of the fountain in action (skip like halfway through).
Thanks to Marlene, who informed me wine is made naturally deep beneath earth's surface, just like lava. Cool!