"You And Everyone You Know Are Dead...And Your Kids Die Too": Fox News Hurricane Update

October 7, 2016


This is a video of Fox News anchor Shepard Smith reporting on Hurricane Matthew. Shepard, in all his eloquence: "If this moves twenty miles to the west, and you and everyone you know are dead. All of you. Because you can't survive it. It's not possible -- unless you're very, very lucky...and your kids die too." Now that's just solid reporting. Granted Shepard isn't a meteorologist or anything, but my God does that man know when a hurricane will kill you everyone you know...and your kids. Seriously though, everybody be safe out there, now isn't the time to be a hero and try to punch that hurricane in the dick or stab its eye out.

Keep going for the video.

Thanks to I Can't Sleep. Great, now I can't either. Pillow talk till we pass out?

  • I was on vacation last week. Shit, did my kids die?

  • TheQiwiMan

    It's almost as if decades of non-stop fear-mongering for ratings has desensitized viewers into not taking these ass-hats seriously, even if the storm really were bad...

  • Munihausen

    Shep is great. Of course, this being Florida, everybody getting wiped out might be a good thing.

  • Jeremy Tilton

    "I want him dead, I want his family dead, I want his house burned to the ground!"


  • Jon

    Everyone below this line needs to be evacuated. Everyone above this line is already dead.


  • Jeremy Tilton

    What, Frank!?

  • JimmyJam

    Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!
    Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes...
    The dead rising from the grave! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!

  • Gilbert

    As someone who just rode through this storm, he's a f**king moron...

  • Adm. Zackbar

    Your pets have already died too. They're dead. Deader than the deadest dead dog that has ever died dead.

  • Bling Nye

    That guy looks like Satan's dick puppet Carrot Top's cousin.

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