This is the Keytendo, a $30 wall-mountable storage solution for your house and car keys (currently an underfunded Kickstarter campaign). You just attach your keys to one of the controller plugs, and you're good to go. That way you'll always know where you left your keys. "I left my keys in somebody's ass before." Somebody's, or your own? You worry me sometimes, and this is definitely one of those times. Start from the beginning and tell me everything. Did you have breakfast that morning? Also, the NES cartridge slot opens so you can store all your past-due utility bills in there. Pretty clever, right? The city just turned off my water and electricity. Have more than one other roommate? Kick them out, this won't work, this is a two player game only.
Keep going for a couple more shot.
Thanks to David, one of the guys behind the Keytendo, for reminding me I need to find my keys.