Questionable: This 'New Mac' Scented Candle

October 4, 2016

new-mac-candle.jpg

This is the New Mac scented hand-poured candle (personally I prefer my candles machine-poured to cut down on labor costs) available from Apple accessory company Twelve South. Each $24 soy candle contains "scents of mint, peach, basil, lavender, mandarin and sage." Now I can't remember the last time I huffed a new MacBook, but it definitely didn't smell like that. At least new car scent air fresheners actually capture the essence of a new car, this just doesn't make any sense. This thing is New Mac scented by name only, and names don't make things smell like things. To quote Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet." I have no idea what that means I just wanted to sound cultured. Did you know the littlest fork at a formal dinner setting is for flicking food at your siblings? I'm studying to be a prince.

Thanks to Jody, who wants a candle that smells like having sex with a robot. You're sick. I just want one that smells like gasoline.

  • Talon184

    Apple-Product scented...so, it apparently smells overpriced and pretentious?

  • Jb3rN

    Man,... this blog is slipping. I couldn't even smell the candle. :(

  • Nate Barrett

    I would much prefer "freshly opened Ninja Turtle figure" scent. You all know what I'm talking about.

  • Jenness

    I think someone needs to send that dude who wrecked the Apple store with the bocce ball this for Christmas .. and then just sit back, drink and watch the carnage unfold.

  • Daniel L Charlebois

    How about new video game box smell from a N64?

  • dougfunnay

    ill pay $30 for one not at all associated with apple

  • Munihausen

    It reads as though it would smell nice, though nothing like an actual Apple product. What do the Doppler Effected screams of FoxConn employees smell like? Cement, rebar, and tears?

  • Xockszky

    mmmm, off-gassing plastic!

  • Andrew Newton

    MAC
    SOY

    *GUNSHOT*

  • Andrew Newton

    In addition, despicable wretched people were actually condemning that angel in a human body, that saint, who was smashing up iphones in the apple store.

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