Wow, Finally: A Line Of Beard Jewelry For Men

September 29, 2016


Because being the hipsterest hipster is a goal some guys actually strive to achieve, this is the line of beard accessories designed by Krato Milano Jewelry (currently a barely funded Kickstarter campaign). They're little $35 skulls, crystals and ship's anchors that clip into your beard. Alternatively, hot glue a tiny arrow or sparrow pin to a paper clip and wear that. Get creative! Just kidding, wear the exact same thing everyone else is. Personally, you know what I like to wear in my beard? "From the looks of it, about a quarter of a cheeseburger and some French onion soup." Haha, yeah, I eat like an animal. You know why? "Because you're an animal?" No, because I like to PRETEND I'm an animal and see how dates will react. "And -- how do they react?" They always excuse themselves to the restroom, where I assume they've all died.

Keep going for several more shots and their Kickstarter video, complete with hair flipping and mustache twirling.








Thanks to Trish, who knows a guy so hipster he actually has a real bird nest in his beard.

  • Dustin Carlson

    super lame was looking for real thing for my beard this looks sooooooooooo bad like who ever told you you looked good with this was lieing to you id never wear this ever even if you paid me id be like ummmmmmm no

  • TheQiwiMan

    "Dare to be unique" = "when literally nothing about your personality is unique or interesting, make yourself stand out by looking stupid"

  • Nahuel Lelouche

    WTF..... this is shit for beard, but those are no man....

  • G-man

    And from now on beards are not cool anymore.

  • Boyce Stattenfield

    Beards will always be awesome... beards with little jewels in them, not so

  • Bling Nye

    Pfft. Fuckin' amateurs.

  • Wiley

    No, these look terrible. If you're going to do something for your beard, a single tiny fleck of metal is a terrible contrast to mighty locks of hair. You need giant hoops of gold or braided through an actual skull (appropriately sized, of course) or something to that effect. These are weak.

  • Jenness

    I agree, go big or go home.

    Or in this case, shave that beard off Nancy!

  • Daniel Silva

    You have some corn stuck in your bea--ohhh!

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