This is the Dinosaur Bottle Opener available for pre-order from the Foodiggity shop. It costs $40 but measures 9-inches by 5-inches of cast iron, so it's a rather formidable bottle opener. You get what you pay for. In this case you're paying for something that's going to spend a significant amount of time in my pants when you eventually invite me over. Also makes a great weapon. It was Colonel Mustard in the billiard room with the t-rex bottle opener! Did I get it right? Did I win?! "Not even close." Arrest everybody and let's boil them alive. "Wait -- what?!" We're cannibals now, this is what we do. Now help me lift Professor Plum into the cauldron.
Keep going for several more shots while I demonstrate how to open a bottle with my armpit. "You're bleeding." That always happens, it's part of the process.
Thanks to Catherine, who just wants a little t-rex arm bottle opener. That would be cute too.