Real Products That Exist: A Carbon Fiber Fedora

September 15, 2016


This is the $200 carbon fiber fedora. It's a fedora made out of woven carbon fiber. I know way too many people who would wear this. And not just wear it, but like, it be the favorite thing they own. The favorite thing I own? Good question, thanks for asking. Hmmm, probably my ninja sword. It's a real one you know, not one of those cheap swords you buy in a set of three that comes with a free display rack. Many enemies have met their end at the tip of its blade. "Does your mom know you have that?" Please don't tell her, I'll do anything, do you want a kiss? Is that what you want -- do you want a kissy? Come get a kissy and *unsheathing sword* prepare to die, snitch.

Keep going for a couple more shots.



Thanks to Dunc, who's holding out for a carbon nanotube safari hat.

  • wisechiver

    Ha....that's my friends company.

  • Colin Bailey

    This is not a fedora. This is a trilby. A fedora has a wider brim that goes up on the sides and down in the front and back, like Indiana Jones. This has a story brim that flips up on the back, therefore it's a trilby.

  • da1nonlysage

    That's like saying fuchsia isn't pink ;-P

  • SamanthaFace

    actually, you're wrong. it's a fucking fedora.

  • King POTUS

    Wow, that is really uninteresting.

  • Konstantin

    Hm... Can I get one in Kevlar? Because a Kevlar fedora would be the most gangster 20's gangster hat one could imagine. Even more so because of the inherent anachronism.

  • Dan Willis

    A woven fedora is usually called a Panama Hat. Of course those are woven with grass not carbon fiber, but there's a first time for everything.

  • GeneralDisorder

    So it's a CFP?

  • Djangus Roundstone

    just one question.


  • Richard H Sanford

    Why? Why *not*?

  • Deksam

    Normal hats don't last forever. My uncle goes through one fedora a year.

  • Bling Nye

    Your uncle should stop making bets that involve eating his hat.

  • Deksam

    Actually, it's the washing machine.

  • King POTUS

    Having a hard time recognizing jokes and sarcasm, eh?

  • Deksam

    No, I got that [it is a rare few people on the planet that bet on eating their own hats, especially when they have done it once before, it is far less likely they would bet in that manner ever again. He was implying my uncle must be stupid enough to bet like that even more than once. hence a joke] But I was merely just telling you the real reason why. But It was only the 1st hat, the rest get so dirty and tattered so he buys a new one every year.

  • King POTUS

    Ugh, that's so BORING. I'm pretty sure everyone figured that out and didn't honestly think he ate his hat.

  • Deksam

    I am sure too.

  • dougfunnay

    are you sure enough that you would bet eating your hat?

  • Bling Nye

    If your uncle is losing bets to the washing machine, your uncle should probably stop making bets with the washing machine.

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