Finally, Under-Your-Desk Dangling Balls To Squeeze

September 2, 2016


Meet Niceballs. Niceballs are a pair of suction-cupped testicles that discreetly hang below your desk so you can give them a little squeeze whenever you're stressed out. Or, if you're really stressed out, a bite like a shark attack. RIP A CHUNK OUT.

Its suspension rate creates a Euclidean curve that encourages relaxation and provides the few moments of escapism that we all need once in a while.

Wait, what? Are we still talking about stress testicles here? I'm confused. You know, whenever I get really stressed I just punch myself in the balls until I get tunnel vision and pass out so my mind and body have no choice but to relax and recuperate. I'm a terrible surgeon.

Keep going for a couple more shots and a video. You know, in case you needed a video.




Thanks again to lizzy, who, for two tips in a row on the Friday before a holiday weekend, is invited to my Labor Day cookout. Bring the hottest hot sauce you can find.

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