Doritos Japan Releases Anti-Vampire Black Garlic Chips For Halloween

September 26, 2016


These are the Black Garlic Doritos just released in Japan in time for Halloween. Black garlic is made by slowly heating garlic cloves over several weeks until they caramelize, resulting in a sweet and syrupy flavor "with hints of balsamic vinegar and tamarind." I love balsamic vinegar. That's how my mom used to get me to eat Brussels sprouts and spinach -- just drown them all in balsamic vinegar. Also, did you know it's a myth that garlic has any anti-vampire properties? That was perpetuated entirely by Bram Stoker when he published the novel Dracula in 1897, presumably after buying a garlic farm.

Thanks to Dunc, who agrees the best way to keep vampires away is keeping your blood alcohol content as high as possible.

  • Rob Kemp

    how can I buy them?

  • Inu no Taisho

    Yes, while garlic specifically was not used to counter vampires, other, equally fragrant items were used. This is because it was believed, among Romanian and Polish natives, that strong smells would ward off vampires. Garlic was mentioned in Stoker's book because the strongest smelling thing he may have known was garlic; aside from persons like Napoleon, who used a gallon of perfume a day because he believed bathing was for commoners who "got dirty" routinely. In the famous and yet-to-be-totally-dismissed vampire killing kits, "brimstone" or sulphur was used, as well as "blessed oil" which was often heavily scented.

  • I know vampires have all these weird weaknesses, but has anyone tried chainsaws? I feel like a chainsaw to the face would be effective against pretty much everything(vamps ,freddy, jason, taylor lautner, etc), and movies haven't shown me otherwise.

  • Lady Tam Li Hua

    They don't work against immortals; they just piece themselves together and/or get pieced back together by some demon they struck a deal with. lol

  • GeneralDisorder

    I want to know how well vampires fare against neutron radiation. Would dropping a neutron bomb on a vamp nest kill them? Or would you have to use something bigger and more destructive?

    They're sensitive to sunlight. So nuclear air burst would most assuredly kill vampires.

    And how do they fare against conventional munitions? Twilight suggest that werewolves can hold their own against vampires. Of course the only thing I know about that series comes from CinemaSins videos.

    If they're susceptible to heart-staking like in original lore then they should be susceptible to heart-bullets. There's no specific lore of them having super healing powers. They're just hard to cause damage to. And I feel like vampires have a more or less functioning brain. So head bullets should also kill them.

    Dusk til Dawn shows them being defeated by a water pistol because some schmuck prayed at the water. So I feel like vampires are possible to defeat with fairly ordinary means. Etch a cross on your knife and stab/cut them. Done. Drink holy water and pee at them. Dead. Cough at them... their undead compromised immune system would make the keel over.

  • Garbagio Dumpsterino

    Keep in mind vampires are made of dead flesh that regenerates. I'm not so sure radiation would have much effect on dead tissue.

  • scott19

    I'd say that this is clear evidence of collusion between Doritos America and Doritos Romania with the vampires.

    Japan remains man's only bastion of hope. It's going to be so cool when they fight vampires with curvy swords and throwing stars!

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