Because the world is ending soon anyways (but not soon enough), these are the $100 Jock Strap Planters crafted by Pansy Ass Ceramics. Each planter measures approximately 5-inches by 3-inches (read: too small to cover anything worth winking at) and does not include a plant. You have to provide the plant yourself. The problem is, if you're actually going to plant a cactus in that thing your balls are already way too big to fit in any jockstrap. I'm afraid you have no other choice but to push them around in a wheelbarrow filled with potting soil and a kitchen herb garden.
Keep going for an uncensored shot of the picture above along with two model-less shots.
Thanks to n0nentity, who agrees nobody wants a cactus down there when you can have a succulent.