These are the real marble business cards created by San Francisco design firm Mikol. They're allegedly the first marble business cards and you can get 20 for $125 or 200 for $950. For reference, that's $6.25 and $4.75 apiece. That's a lot to pay for something somebody is just going to throw away when they get home. Besides, if you're the kind of person who's handing out marble business cards they better read 'PROFESSIONAL ASSHOLE'.
Thanks to vishal, who's inspired me to get my own condom wrapper business cards printed. Something like, "I've got you covered" or "Let's do this together."