Man Tries To Rob Convenience Store With Machete, Shopkeeper Produces Scimitar

August 30, 2016


In a clear case of life imitating art (in this case the "That's not a knife" scene from Crocodile Dundee), this is a video of a guy trying to rob a convenience store with a machete, only to be thwarted by the storeowner, who produces a much larger scimitar and chases him out (previously: a shopkeeper with a machete scaring off a would-be robber with a gun and a man who successfully robbed a 7-11 with a Klingon sword). I'm not even sure he really needed the sword though, you'd think he could have whacked the guy with his giant balls. Cheers to you, Mr. Always Keep A Scimitar Behind The Register.

It's weird, you'd think just swinging his balls at him would have been enough.

Thanks to Jeff, who agrees it's only a matter of time until some shopkeeper defends his store with a chainsaw. What a day that'll be!

  • Munihausen
  • Jenness

    Good one :)

  • Matt Dennis

    Fat Pizza... defending the store with a chainsaw...

  • palpable ovaltine

    "You seen those warriors from Hammerfell? They got curved swords. Curved. Swords."

  • NikkolaiV

    I live in a bad area, and was told to buy some mace or a Taser to protect myself...but found a broadsword to be a more attractive option. Doesn't fit on my keychain as well, but the added aesthetic effect is worth it.

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  • GeneralDisorder

    Do you wear it in public? That's legal in Pennsylvania.

    For what it's worth this happened in North Side which basically a war zone if you believe the media hype. I knew some people who rented a whole house for around $500 a month. They'd often hear gunshots outside. One of the people who rented there watched his neighbor get shot. It's just like my neighborhood... except when my neighbor got shot I wasn't watching because I don't pay attention to the hooting and hollering that goes on out there. Screw them.

  • NikkolaiV

    Sometimes I flaunt it, but usually keep it concealed...which is difficult given that I'm 5'2 and 85lbs. Luckily, I lost my left leg practicing with it and can now hide it as a poorly made prosthetic.

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