Francine, Paul, Mark, Samantha? Prepare to suffer and die.
Because you can never die from dysentery enough in one lifetime, an Oregon Trail card game has just been released exclusively by Target for $13 (in-store only). I included a seven minute video after the jump of a guy explaining how to play the game, which actually sounds pretty decent provided the electricity went out and you can't play video games and will settle for playing a card game by candlelight. Just like they did in the old days! Me? I only play one card game: roulette. "Roulette is not a card game." Tell that to the guy at the casino who's always taking all my money. "Again, roulette is not a card game." I did think it was weird we had to play in the parking lot.
Keep going for the how-to-play video.
Thanks to BlameItOnTheRain, one of my top go-tos for blame besides the voices.