How To: Protect Your Tesla With Pool Noodles

August 25, 2016


This is a picture captured by a friend of a friend here in Los Angeles of a Tesla owner who created their own anti-dent and ding protection out of a couple pool noodles and some string. It looks so appropriate on a $80,000+ car, right? I can't believe Elon Musk didn't think to make this standard equipment. I have so many questions. Are they trying to protect their own car, or other cars from their uncontrollable door-opening? I see the car is parked in a reserved space, do you think the two cars park in the same spots every day? Is this their passive-aggressive way of telling the white minivan owner they suck at parking? And, if the two cars do park in the same spots everyday, then you really only need a single noodle in the front. Because if you somehow manage to get your car hit by the back sliding door of a minivan, I'm starting to think you might be the problem. Do you think the keep the noodles in the backseat or the trunk? How do their kids feel when they drive them and a couple of their friends to the mall and start hanging up their door noodles after they park? STOP, YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME.

Thanks to Brandie, who agrees inflatable water-wings are the real solution to shitty parkers.

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