Aliens!: Astronomers Detect 'Strong Signal' Coming From Distant Sun-Like Star

August 30, 2016

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HD 164595 isn't just a catchy name, it's the designation of an "exactly Sun-like" star 94 light years away that astronomers have discovered a "strong signal" emanating from, leading at least one blogger to yell THE ALIENS ARE COMING! over and over and rummage through his nightstand looking for a plastic ray gun, but only finding an unfamiliar dildo. *shrug* This will have to do.

Astronomers engaged in the search for extraterrestrial intelligence (SETI) are training their instruments on a star around 94 light years from Earth after a very strong signal was detected by a Russian telescope.


"The signal from HD 164595 is intriguing, because it comes from the vicinity of a sun-like star, and if it's artificial, its strength is great enough that it was clearly made by a civilization with capabilities beyond those of humankind," astronomer Douglas Vakoch, president of METI International, which searches for life beyond Earth, tells CNN.

Obviously, the chance of the signal actually being alien in nature is unlikely, but we can still dream. True story: last night I dreamed I was skydiving and passed out on the way down. I tried to look up what it meant in my dream book but it turns out I WAS STILL INSIDE THE DREAM and my dream book turned into a snake and bit my penis and that's when I woke up on the kitchen floor with my penis in a mousetrap.

Thanks to Fearless Farris and my hopefully fearful pal Terry, both of whom have earned spots on my space voyage to discover what's producing this signal. Here, put on these red shirts.

  • Guesticle

    we've decoded the message, "Shut up, and play dead."

  • Chris Hateley

    It's a weather balloon.

  • Jon

    Scientist: We have detected an interesting signal from space.
    Media: Could it be Aliens?
    Scientist: Technically yes, though it is more likely to be a naturally occurring phenomenon, we need to do some more research.
    Media: OMG Scientists find Aliens!

    Every time.

  • Guesticle

    and then the scientists coverup the aliens

  • Jon

    *Slaps Guesticle*

  • Munihausen

    While I continue to donate computer resources to SETI @Home out of principle, the funding SETI receives would be better spent researching more-direct contact.

  • Ollie Williams

    Such as?

  • Munihausen

    UFO phenomena, of course; it is a vastly more interesting field than simply waiting for seemingly-artificial EM pulses, though it is rife with hoaxes and b.s.

  • Ollie Williams

    Assuming direct alien contact has happened, there is absolutely a zero percent chance that any government in the world, let alone the U.S. government, is going to allow a privately funded organization like SETI study anything. I'm honestly surprised SETI is allowed to even rent the equipment.

  • Munihausen

    I agree; hence my disappointment with the SETI project, which is mostly a PR campaign imho. Considering the age of the universe and the length of human civilization, I think it is enormously unlikely that our window of listening will coincide with any window in which ET signals, of the type we may even detect, would reach us. Here's hoping though, of course!

  • Geekologie

    I suggest sending me out there with a billboard

  • Ollie Williams

    I assume it would read something along the lines of, "IF YOU STILL HAVE DINOSAURS ON YOUR WORLD, SEND THEM MY WAY SO I CAN FUCK 'EM"?

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