Aliens!: Astronomers Detect 'Strong Signal' Coming From Distant Sun-Like Star

August 30, 2016


HD 164595 isn't just a catchy name, it's the designation of an "exactly Sun-like" star 94 light years away that astronomers have discovered a "strong signal" emanating from, leading at least one blogger to yell THE ALIENS ARE COMING! over and over and rummage through his nightstand looking for a plastic ray gun, but only finding an unfamiliar dildo. *shrug* This will have to do.

Astronomers engaged in the search for extraterrestrial intelligence (SETI) are training their instruments on a star around 94 light years from Earth after a very strong signal was detected by a Russian telescope.

"The signal from HD 164595 is intriguing, because it comes from the vicinity of a sun-like star, and if it's artificial, its strength is great enough that it was clearly made by a civilization with capabilities beyond those of humankind," astronomer Douglas Vakoch, president of METI International, which searches for life beyond Earth, tells CNN.

Obviously, the chance of the signal actually being alien in nature is unlikely, but we can still dream. True story: last night I dreamed I was skydiving and passed out on the way down. I tried to look up what it meant in my dream book but it turns out I WAS STILL INSIDE THE DREAM and my dream book turned into a snake and bit my penis and that's when I woke up on the kitchen floor with my penis in a mousetrap.

Thanks to Fearless Farris and my hopefully fearful pal Terry, both of whom have earned spots on my space voyage to discover what's producing this signal. Here, put on these red shirts.

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