76 Out Of 77 Scientists: Chemtrails Aren't Real

August 17, 2016

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In almost everybody is a liar news, 76 out of 77 scientists who specialize in studying earth and its atmosphere agree that chemtrails aren't real. The one truth-teller? That was me in a lab coat posing as a scientist. Seriously though who is that one person and what do they know?

If you're unfamiliar with "chemtrails," they are--according to a popular conspiracy theory--atmosphere-altering or downright malevolent chemicals that are sprayed, intentionally, from the world's average aircrafts into the air on a daily basis. If you're wondering why somebody, anybody, would do this, the essential claim is that the chemicals could alter specific people's behavior or their environment negatively.


The white trails behind an aircraft, according to science, which demands skeptical study and verification (oh science, you beautiful, beautiful method for understanding the world), shows that those white trails are not chemical trails, but rather condensation trails, or "contrails."

You can read the whole study conducted by Standford's Carnegie Institution for Science and the University of California Irvine HERE in case you want to wave it in front of chemtrail conspiracy theorists who won't believe it anyways so you're wasting your time. That's the thing about believing things -- it's easy when you want to. The human mind is capable of convincing itself of just about anything if it wants to. Except that you're happy with your body image and appearance. Just leave me alone!

Thanks to Jess, who's convinced regardless of who wins the upcoming election, chemtrails are coming in 2017.

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