Real Things That Exist: Jeans That Have Been Pre-Distressed By Zoo Animals

July 6, 2016


Zoo Jeans are a very exclusive line of jeans (a previous line was released in 2014) that have been pre-distressed by animals at a zoo near Sendai City, Japan. The jeans come in lion, tiger and bear varieties and presumably cost an insane amount of money considering they're only make ten pairs. Personally, I'm holding out for dragon jeans. And there better be shit-tons of embroidery like Ed Hardy.

In order to get this type of wear, denim was wrapped around the animals' favorite playthings and then retrieved once they were done playing. Only ten pairs of the jeans will be manufactured, featured at the Loft Store and sold through an online auction beginning August 1, 2016. The proceeds of the auction will benefit the Yagiyama Animal Park.

Okay, so let's say I actually did have enough money to buy one of the ten pairs of jeans, what are the chances of them actually coming in my size? Sure 32 x 34 isn't that uncommon, but I need a crotch that looks like it was stretched out by an elephant's trunk. *wink* Know what I'm saying? "You have a big penis." Exactly, that's exactly what I'm saying. You're very perceptive.

Keep going for a shot of the tiger and bear jeans as well as a video of the jeans being distressed.



Thanks to Alexandria, who wants a pair of penguin pants. Awwww, me too now.

  • You a tall dude, GW.

  • JimmyJam

    I'm just relieved it was a story about Japanese clothing that didn't involve vending machine panties.

  • iofo61

    Japan. So, yeah.

  • TheQiwiMan

    Lions, Tigers, AND Bears? I feel like George Takei would have something to say about this!

  • Ollie Williams

    There is some part of me that finds happiness that I also wear 32x34 jeans. I'm basically GW, except I don't live in god awful California.

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