Graham, A Freaky Looking Human Designed To Survive Car Accidents

July 25, 2016

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Meet Graham, a human designed by Australia's Transport Accident Commission (TAC) specifically to survive car accidents. The idea is that if you don't look like Graham, you should be more careful when you're behind the wheel. Me? I am ultra careful behind the wheel. I am so careful behind the wheel I haven't even been behind the wheel in years. I like to take Uber or Lyft everywhere and sit in the backseat and be chauffeured around and say things like, "Driver -- stop farting or you're only getting one star," and "Help I think I'm having a heart attack."

The result isn't a pretty sight but it's certainly a sobering one. As you can see, Graham doesn't have a neck because these snap easily in car accidents. He also has a flat, fleshy face to protect his ears and nose. And if you're wondering about all those extra nipples, they're to protect his ribs like a natural set of airbags.

Oh thank goodness, because I WAS wondering about all those extra nipples. That guy could feed a litter of newborn puppies with all those things with nipples to spare for tweaking! Seriously though, safety first -- that's the message here. That said, I definitely know at least three people who are already ugly enough to survive car accidents.

Keep going for a bunch more shots and a video.

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Thanks to Alex B, who agrees the key to surviving car accidents is not being involved.

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