This is the $130 Wine Dispensing Travel Tote available from Uncommon Goods (previously: a smaller plain black purse version and cardboard wine boxes that look like purses). It can dispense up to five liters of wine from a tap on the side AND LOOK GOOD WHILE IT'S DOING IT. Is this a fashionable pattern? I personally think so, but that's only because it looks like something my mom would carry and she's one of the most fashionable women I know. She's also one of the only women I know. She still helps me get dressed in the morning. "Like, she picks your clothes out for you?" Nooooooo, like I lift my arms over my head and she puts my shirt on for me. "What are you, five?" Don't be jealous just because you have to put your pants on one leg at a time.
Keep going for one more shot including the cold pack that comes with it for keeping your wine nice and cool.
Thanks to Jamie S, who sneaks wine into places the old fashioned way: already drank. Yeah I do that too plus tape Ziploc bags full of Jello shooters all over my body.