This is a video of a real-life Tarzan running up a tree. He's fast. Although of all the trees in the world I'd imagine a person could run up fast, this one is it. I could probably make pretty good time up there myself. Or fall and break both arms. *waving casts* It's happened before. "What happened?" I told you, I fell. "How'd you fall?" Trying to rescue a cat out of a tree. "How'd you really fall?" Jumping out the window of my girlfriend's room before her parents caught us together. "I can wait here all day -- the truth already." I was trying to do a handstand in the shower and pee straight down the drain.
Keep going for the video.
Thanks to Jeff, who doesn't run up trees because he's got a bitchin' grappling hook.