What Unholiness Is This?: Pizza Slices w/ Crust All Around

June 3, 2016

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This is the fully crusted pizza slice made by the folks at Vinnie's Pizzeria in Brooklyn. Admittedly, Vinnie's has come up with some pretty solid pizza advancements in the past (the pizza on pizza on pizza and the pizza box pizza). But this? This is a step backwards. Who the hell wants that much crust on a slice of pizza? The only reason crust exists in the first place is to use as a handle so you don't have to finger the cheese and sauce. Raise your hand if you really like eating pizza crust. Now everyone look around. Everybody with their hand up is exiled from this Fantasyland I've spent so much time and effort developing in our collective brains. Think God banishing Adam and Eve from the Garden Of Eden, but way more serious. GO -- I can't even look at you. Just kidding, I don't care, here you can have my crust if you want. "Thanks!" *chewing* No problem. The dog didn't want it anyway, she only licked it for awhile.

Thanks to Gabe, who's convinced pizza crust was originally invented not to be eaten, but rather set aside after eating a slice to keep track of how many you've had. *counting* I've had nine I feel ooky.

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