Just to rub it in our faces that the robot apocalypse is inevitable and near, this is a video DEMONstration of Boston Dymanics' latest killer robot, the 65-pound SpotMini. Now don't be fooled by his googly eyes and diminutive size, this thing will tear your balls (or your boyfriend's or husband's or anybody else's balls that you care about) out of their pouch quicker than you can say, "What are you, some kind of mini space giraffe?" Actually, he could do it even quicker than you could say, "What are," and those are some pretty shitty last words. I have a running joke with a couple of my friends that I want my last words to be "CHOO CHOO" because I actually forget why but I'm sure there was a good reason and now I yell "CHOO CHOO" all the time because I never know when the good Lord is gonna come for me and I'm trying to stack the odds in my favor the best I can. I'm a gambler.
Keep going for the video, including a trip and fall on a banana peel at 1:26. Note to self: load up on banana peels. Also, there's a real vision of the future after the credits. CHOO CHOO.
Thanks to Rob, who told me he wanted one for a pet because apparently a pet rhinoceros isn't dangerous enough.