There's Enough Money On Starbucks Gift Cards For The Company 'To Be A Mid-Size Bank'

June 21, 2016


According to a recent article in The Wall Street Journal, Starbucks currently holds some $1.2-billion in pre-loaded Starbucks cards and in the Starbucks app. For reference, $0.59 of that is mine and I'd like to make a withdrawal in the form of pre-roasted beans. Still, $1.2-billion -- that's a lot of coffee! Just kidding, at Starbucks that's like ten coffees.

If Starbucks were a bank, that amount of deposits would make it a respectable midsize institution.

An astounding number of customers eschew dollars for money on card and the app. Between the U.S. and Canada, 41 percent of transactions at retail locations involved a Starbucks card, and 24 percent involved the mobile app, according to Marketwatch.

I can't even remember the last time I went to a Starbucks because my mom doesn't let me drink coffee because it makes me bang my head on the car window on the ride to school in the morning but I can almost guarantee the last time I did go to Starbucks it was only to use their restroom and they wouldn't let me because I wasn't a paying customer. The same thing happened at a gas station over the weekend. The attendant wouldn't give me the bathroom-key-on-a-stick so I told him to put $1 on pump seven then I pumped a dollar worth of gas on the ground and went to the bathroom and wrote 'FOR A GOOD TIME CALL' and then the number of the gas station which I looked up on my phone one-handed while I peed because I'm an amazing multi-tasker and you should hire me.

Thanks to Anthony S, who informed me at least $25 of that $1.2-billion is his and hey can I see your wallet for a second?

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