Spacey: Solar System Orbit Necklace From ThinkGeek

June 7, 2016

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This is the Solar Orbit Necklace designed and sold by ThinkGeek. The $40 necklace includes the sun, all the planets, plus our moon, the asteroid belt and Pluto represented as semi-precious stones in proper orbit order. That was a smart business decision including Pluto in the mix, because I'm pretty sure I speak for us all when I say I do not buy any solar system products that leave him out. That little shit is my friend. The list of stones:

The Sun (dyed jade)

Mercury (white turquoise)
Venus (crazy lace agate)
The Moon (white turquoise)
Earth (sodalite)
Mars (red agate)
The Asteroid Belt (snow stone)
Jupiter (yellow agate)
Saturn (yellow jade)
Uranus (dyed jade)
Neptune (dyed jade)
Pluto (white turquoise)

So Uranus is dyed jade. So it was originally green but dyed blue. I'm going to be honest, I don't feel like either one of those is my dream butthole color. Sounds like a freaky alien p0rn fetish to me. Now, are you thinking what I'm thinking? "Planetary anal beads -- Uranus in your anus, BUTTCEPTION." Exactamundo, they just need to be bigger. Come over and we'll order a pizza and start prototyping with sports balls.

Keep going for a shot of the necklace sans model.

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Thanks to Tomato, hands down one of my favorite burger toppings, second only to six slices of cheese.

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