Orchid Mantis Uses Kung-Fu Poses To Scare Away Spider

June 16, 2016

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This is a segment from the BBC series Life Story documenting an orchid mantis's attempt at using Kung-Fu poses to scare away a jumping spider that wants to eat it. Did I mention it's narrated by David Attenborough? Because it's narrated by David Attenborough! *lifts shirt to reveal 'I LOVE YOU MR. ATTENBOROUGH!' painted across tits on two lines with 'I LOVE YOU' on the first line and 'MR. ATTENBOROUGH!' on the second (just to give you a better visual -- oh, and the paint is red like the color of a Solo cup)* I know I've said it before, but I really could listen to David Attenborough talk all day. And I don't care what the hell he's talking about. He could recall every embarrassing moment in my life in chronological order and I would just sit there and smile and listen for hours until I couldn't take it anymore and tried to choke him out. Probably right around when he got to the time I was bent over on the starting block at high school swim practice and my Speedo ripped and everyone behind me saw my @$$hole winking at them. Because that happened.

Keep going for the video, complete with surprise ending.

Thanks to DW, who agrees the best way to scare a spider away is missing it with a shoe. You'll never see it again, but it's around.

  • shashi
  • TheQiwiMan

    Mantises are assholes.

  • Meh

    Kung Fu panda anyone?

  • Frédéric Purenne

    *kung-fu noises* "HHEEEAAAAOooo... iiieeeehhh, hhhoouuu... Heh it worked, I'm so clever... Wow, that's a weird flower, beautiful, but-EEARRGH!" *munching noises*

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