Finally: A Touchscreen Kitchen Faucet That Dispenses On-Demand Boiling, Chilled And Sparkling Water

June 23, 2016


Because I was thinking just the other day how kitchen faucets should have touchscreens, this is the Quantreau faucet. It can dispense on-demand boiling, hot, chilled and sparkling water with just the push of a different touchscreen button. Prices start around -- and you're gonna want to hold on to your tits for this one (grasp them firmly I'm not even kidding) -- $4,400 EXCLUDING installation. And it doesn't even dispense chocolate milk or Hawaiian Punch! A $4,400 kitchen faucet, my God what has the world come to? "I don't know, but I don't like it." God, ladies and gentlemen! He's just as ready as I am to push the big red button. You know what the feel-good story was on the news this morning? A commercial. I went to the grocery store last night and when I was coming out to my car there were two crazy old men swinging plastic grocery bags full of produce at each other and one was yelling, "I've got legs!" while the other one was screaming, "I want my MTV!" It was the most valid argument I've witnessed in a long time. I remember the first time I ever stayed in a hotel that had one of those red instant-boiling water taps at the sink and I didn't know what it was and tried to wash my hands with it and now I can't grow my fingerprints back. Not that that's a BAD thing, it's just a thing.

Thanks to DieselNuts, who agrees if you're buying a $4,400 kitchen faucet, you better already have kitchen counters made out of moon rock.

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