Dreams Do Come True: Finally, A Seven-Person Tricycle

June 20, 2016


This is the seven-person tricycle sold by (who else?) Hammacher Schlemmer. It costs $20,000 plus $650 shipping and handling and makes the perfect gift for the person who has absolutely everything else in the world already. Plus six friends. I just bought two because I have thirteen friends. Just kidding, I have four friends and one of them is a dog and the other three are cats, two of which don't even like me that much. This reminds me of one of those party bikes that's a bar that you pedal and drink beer, except this one doesn't have a bar or any beer, making it infinitely less enjoyable. If I wanted to pedal next to a bunch of other weirdos I'd take a spin class at the gym. Those people are intense. Not as intense as some of the bodybuilders though. I watched this super-huge guy scream at himself in the mirror for like a minute straight in between sets of squats. He seriously made himself cry.

Keep going for a weird-ass video.


Thanks to Gregory, who agrees this thing would look awesome being pedaled at full speed into a volcano.

  • Ghost Pirates

    Truly the Rat King of bikes.

  • shashi

    finally i can ride the town bicycle

  • Bjoern

    Hey folks,
    A) first it was invented and built from Mr. Staller:


    B) from 2002 till 2015 it was produced in Hannover, lower Saxony Germany (one of the architect is a friend of mine):


  • David Shire

    A few years back my friend and I found one of these sitting around gathering rust and grime in the parking lot next to the New England Aquarium in Boston. Man oh man did we ever want to steal it and make the worst getaway ever.

  • dougfunnay

    7 person tricycle: $20,000
    shipping for 7 person tricycle: $650
    hiring 6 people to be your friend for a month: $18,000
    wasting untold sums of surely undeserved money: priceless

  • Meh

    How dare they ask that much money for such a crap article. How dumb are they?

  • All those women cycling together at the same time... Men beware.

  • BriteSkittle

    LOL good one

  • That video made me horny.
    That's going to be one great orgy.
    I want in.

  • dougfunnay

    well keep em trimmed please
    horns are very distracting
    its not like we need them to compete for mates any more any way
    more an atavistic growth than a necessary tool

    (unless theyre coming off your shoulders or something.... thats just badass)

    this i what happens when you dont trim your horn
    you start dressing like its the 70s again and have a perpetual look of confusion

  • NinjaSquirrel

    They're not new. We've been cycling around Berlin on these several years ago, great fun. Tours are available at http://www.donbikes.com/

  • gqukyo

    Google has been using these for ages on their campus

  • Konstantin

    Yup. "Conference bikes."

  • reave

    I'll just wait for this to show up in porn.

  • Jenness

    The people in the video look like they are in a weird cult.

    I want to see this in a game show with Mom, dad and 4 kids/relatives of a typical family because there would be all kinds of stuff going down. One family would just be wanting to turn it into a social barbeque event, on family would always try to be the nice ones until mom or dad would have a meltdown and drown themselves in a vat of wine, one family would have a fight on who would get to drive until oh hell no we ain't playin' THAT and the bully would just take over and everyone else would be miserable....it would be hilarious\

    Edited to add - my family would be me driving, everyone else trying hard to do as little pedaling as they could until I lost my crap and went nuts on them and then they'd all act innocent like they were just pedaling hard and reading their bibles and I just went crazy for no reason at all. Because they are passive aggressive jerks. Well that's it - they can pedal their OWN 6 person bike.

  • Cheese

    It's political correctness going for a ride in the park.

  • GeneralDisorder

    There's still a white person steering. Get your pitchforks.

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