Confirmed: King Tut's Dagger Made From A Meteorite

June 2, 2016

king-tuts-space-blade.jpg

A new study has confirmed that a dagger that was buried with King Tut and placed in the wrapping around his right thigh is made from meteoritic iron. A space blade! I want a whole set of fake teeth made out of meteorites and I want them in all the shapes of Lucky Charms marshmallows.

"The nickel and cobalt ratio in the dagger blade is consistent with that of iron meteorites that have preserved the primitive chondritic ratio during planetary differentiation in the early solar system," Comelli said.


The study shows the ancient Egyptians attributed great value to meteoritic iron for the production of precious objects, possibly perceiving those chunks of iron falling from the sky as a divine message.

Oh those chunks of iron falling from the sky were a divine message alright. Just kidding, they were just part of a complex simulation developed by an advanced civilization. Probably just a coding error or something, like ghosts. It's weird thinking about this whole 'reality as a simulation' concept. It just makes me feel like-- "You're so insignificant and nothing you do matters?" Okay well I was going to say like playing Civilization V but sure, Debbie Downer.

Thanks to Dunc, who wants a ninja sword made out of a meteor and to become an intergalactic assassin. Lofty goals.

  • Emmitt Morgans

    ♪Had a knife made outta bolide
    And a jar of sod'yum chloride
    (King Tut)♪

  • Matt Jenkins

    It doesn't matter!

  • Emmitt Morgans

    Steve Martin might beg to differ...

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