Yum: DNA From Rats, Human Found In Veggie Burgers

May 12, 2016


In news that shouldn't surprise anybody who's familiar with how food is made, a recent study by food analysts at Clear Labs discovered a bunch of yummy ingredients in veggie burgers that aren't supposed to be there, including rat and human DNA. But I thought that's what gives the patty it's unique flavor.

In a sample of 89 veggie burgers collected from a range of brands, Clear Labs identified several problems with "substitution, hygienic issues, and pathogenic contamination."

One purported "black bean burger" was found to contain no black beans at all, according to the study, while four of the veggie burgers tested did contain pathogenic DNA that could lead to food poisoning.

Who cares? None of this is going to stop me from eating veggie burgers. I guarantee of all the things that could kill me, I'm not going out via veggie patty. Besides, they found traces of DNA, it's not like the found a whole finger or rat tail. And props to the company selling the black bean burger with no black beans in it. That is ballsy. Or maybe they're actually sold as black bean flavored burgers or black bean style burgers. There are ways to get around these things you see. If there's one thing I know it's underhandedness.

Thanks to Jarod, who just watched me drop a chip with dip on the floor and pick it up and eat it without breaking eye contact.

  • Emmitt Morgans

    Wha... what was *in* that black bean burger?

    The "full report" doesn't even say... it just says it didn't have any black beans in it.

  • Jan Bergström

    White beans maybe?

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    It's people! It is made out of people! Except the rat one, that is another movie.

  • demolition man

  • Kaizer Chief

    Finally, a vegan burger made with real vegans.

  • booo!

    Bah! Do the same thing for any other mass produced food and the results will be the same (or probably worse).

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