You've Gone Too Far: Soda Flavored Pop-Tarts

May 3, 2016


These are the A&W Root Beer and Orange Crush flavored Pop-Tarts that are a real thing because vomiting on your way to work is all the rage. I doubt I'll ever try them even when they have the orange Manger's Special sticker on them when they're trying to get rid of them at the grocery store because who the hell is going to buy these things. "Honey, look what I got you from the store today." Awwwww, I love you, mom. I bet these are gonna be great.

Thanks again to Allyson S, who's holding out for Mountain Dew Code Red Pop-Tarts because she knows what's up.

  • Emmitt Morgans

    No (Cherry Lemon or regular) Sun Drop-Tarts? No Sale.

  • Pop tarts are like 50% of your daily calories. I think that is like per-tart also. They are like.... real real bad for you. These ones will probably kill you on contact.

  • JeeebeZ

    You must be starving yourself is you only eat 400 calories a day. Average poptart is only 200 calories.

    7 different labels

  • at 420kcal a day, they are a gut bomb. I have about 1700 kcal per day. If I eat a pop tart I'm probably eating a pickle for dinner. Not worth it.

  • The Chadwick

    Cancer + Diabetes in a box! I've only had pop tarts twice in my life, yea they were tasty when it comes to crap in a box. I don't even eat things like toaster strudel, but did as a kid and those were the shit. Granted you can eat pop tarts right out of the box..but why eat pop tarts when you can eat toaster strudel? Is there an answer?

  • Yes, the answer is "what the ffyc is a 'toaster strudel'?"

  • Smivey

    Can't wait to try these at the 99 Cents Only store in a few months.

  • GeneralDisorder

    Are they Soda-pop tarts or are they Soda Poptarts?

  • I believe the answer to that question is "yes".

  • Bling Nye

    I always thought Madonna and Brittany Spears and Beyonce and Christina Aguilera and the like were pop tarts...

  • GeneralDisorder

    The word fart has etymology that traces back to cockney slang. They used to call flatus "tart". So really Madonna, Brittany, Beyonce, and Christina Aguilera are actually Pop Farts. Ha! Because they're old! Just kidding I don't know how old any of them are. I think three of them are older than me.

  • NES__still_the_best

    I don't know man, these look pretty damn good to me.

  • Bling Nye

    You're high as fuck aren't you.

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