This is a shot of the cover of College Prep Algebra, featuring a group of students holding copies of the same book that the exact photo of them is on. The space-time continuum: it's been torn open like a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. Can somebody make one of those perpetually zooming GIFs out of this picture? I think that's what it needs. Man, I was awful at Algebra in school. I just didn't GET IT. Of course I didn't get a lot of things in high school, except conveniently sick the day of a test or the few days after a girl I liked turned me down for a date and made fun of me to all her friends. If I knew how little I would use algebra in my adult life I would have skipped class way more often. Let me rephrase that: I would have skipped class way more often for a different reason. As it was I just thought I was screwing myself out of an education and skipped class to hang out with my friends by the windmill and drink mead. "Jesus, how old are you, GW?" I'm a 400-year old wizard, I thought you knew that. The only math I need to know is how to multiply fractions so I can brew double and triple batches of boner potions. I'm 400, boners are hard to come by. Plus potions are way safer than spells because I have never waved a wand at my penis and been pleased with the results. "You can say that again." Wow, Ursula, seriously?
Thanks to DieselNuts, who's always dreamed of being on the cover of a textbook. Me? I've always dreamed of being on the cover of one of those steamy romance novels with a sexy couple sitting on a horse. Just replace the horse's head with a picture of my face.