Insanely Way Too Long TSA Line At Chicago Airport

May 13, 2016


Note: Guy reveals his face and drops a couple f-bombs at the very end, do whatever you want with that information.

This is a video of a guy filming how long the TSA wait line is at Chicago Midway International Airport. It is very, VERY long. My favorite quote: "You like that? You like how long that shit is? Oh no. We're just getting started. Yep, we're just getting started now." So hardcore. He is hands down the most badass person to ever film how long a TSA line is. It is really long though. However I did see several great opportunities to cut in line, particularly between the two doors at 0:40. That almost gets you to the front of the line. Also, I'm pretty sure the people at the back of the line could get wherever they're flying to faster if they just started walking now.

Hit the jump for the video, one point each for spotting the muscle-bound guy who's also filming the line, a businessman whose tie matches his shirt, the guy with the skateboard, the guy with the baby duct-taped to his chest (it's not really duct-taped though it just looks like it), a woman complaining that "Now we're on somebody's video?", and a guy with his phone's brightness on way too high.

  • shashi
  • FearlessFarris

    Let people keep their shoes on, and their belts on. Let people keep liquids in their bags, even if you have to limit the volume of liquids to a reasonable level. Stop making people pull out their laptop computers and run them separately.

    This would solve 80% of the issues that clog up security lines.

  • JJtoob

    Somewhere, a terrorist is fapping to this.
    On a side note, I flew out of SFO last October around midnight, and I got through security in like 10 minutes. I think they also had me go around the line and skip the big scanner seeing how I was very lightly dressed, so if I was hiding anything, it would have been noticeable. I did go through the metal scanner, which is much faster anyway.

  • TheQiwiMan

    "Security Theater". Look it up. TSA hasn't done one single thing to lessen the threat of a terrorist attack since its inception.

    Fuck the TSA.

  • Rol K

    Think a little. They (the gov) is doing this on purpose. The cut way back on the number of TSA employees and restrict further hiring. Then they start pushing out information to travel editors about the wonderful opportunity to by-pass the lines by joining PreCheck. If they win this game, then they can track tens of millions of Americans anytime they travel. In fact they will have your fingerprints in a national database that they can use to do "big data" analysis (software thoughtfully provided by Northrop Grumman) and find out even more about you. Don't help them! Go early, stand in line and don't hand over all your personal info. Also, speak up and encourage the local airports to fire the TSA (they are allowed to do that) and hire private contractors. Atlanta has already threatened to do so and I say, good for them! Remember, sometimes you have to fight for your privacy.

  • MustacheHam

    If I was that camera person, I totally do a high five line.

  • DFCtomm

    The TSA has a new pre-apporoval program. It costs 85$ and has a questionnaire that must be filled out revealing personal information to the government. That may have something to do with the increase in waiting times.

  • V_Ferg

    But yet the terrorists didn't win huh?

  • Cup-O-Jesus

    The foolish thing is theyre stopping something that couldnt happen again. all they need to check for is a huge bag of explosives, because there is no way a plane full of american men is going to let anyone hijack a plane today, even if they had a gun. the days of boxcutter hijacking are way behind us now.

  • JJtoob

    Fear is a hell of a thing, and you don't need a boxcutter to torture someone. You are also considering a plane full of american men with the best of intentions, but what is to stop a plane to be full of any men with the worst of intentions?

  • Cup-O-Jesus

    Are you asking what is to stop a commercial flight from being full of terrorists?

  • Zemini

    Exactly. Just try terrorists and see what happens...All those years of bottled up airport frustration will be unleashed onto the hijackers. I would just hate too be the guy that had to clean up the mess.

  • rhartness

    To be fair, not once did I see the line seem to be stalled once he started walking the path. I hate these delays and the whole TSA ordeal does seem like BS, but if there is a line that's a 2:30 walk, two 10-20+ queues, it's not really THAT bad. I've seen MUCH worse. (ATL anyone?)

  • Brock

    The number of people waiting is no different from any other major airport. The difference is that Chicago security lanes quickly merge to a single line running down random hallways, while (for example) Denver has 2 separate and organized lines that zigzag in an open building larger than a football field.

  • GeneralDisorder

    I have an idea... Stay the fuck out of Chicago.

  • Jenness

    This is how we are going to fight terror - bore them until they forget what they were so pissed about as they worry about if they'll be molested by that one perma-angry TSA agent who seems to be inappropriately touching everyone while exclaiming loudly for no read "just doin' my DAMN job!"

  • Emmitt Morgans

    If they were British, they'd know how to queue!

    Don't Panic!

  • JeeebeZ

    I only fly 5 or 6 times a year but its only within Canada... The longest line ive ever had to stand in was 20 people long.

  • jrose

    But it's moving forward at a good clip. I wonder what the wait is from the end. I was in a TSA line for 45 minutes last month. Wasn't this long, but moved way more slowly.

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