Doctors Perform First Successful Penis Transplant In US

May 19, 2016


"And it's as big as my thumb."

64-year old Thomas Manning lost his penis to cancer because cancer is a piece of shit and will literally take your penis. And now surgeons at the Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston have given Thomas the first successful penis transplant performed in the United States because apparently John Wayne Bobbit's didn't count because it was his own penis. Yay, got my old penis back! Missed you, little guy.

The 15-hour procedure, which involved a dozen surgeons and another 30 health care workers, occurred on May 8 and 9 at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston. Manning is currently recovering in hospital and doing well. The organ was received from a deceased donor.

For the procedure, a surgical team led by reconstructive surgeon Dr. Curtis L. Cetrulo grafted the complex microscopic vascular and neural structures of a donated penis onto Manning's matching structures. Normal blood flow has been restored, and there are no signs of bleeding, rejection, or infection. If all goes according to plan, Manning should experience normal urination in a few weeks, and sexual function in a few months.

Wait, so if I'm an organ donor they might take my penis when I'm dead? I did not know that. Is there any way to like, specify which organs you're cool donating and which you'd like to be buried with? Don't get me wrong, I don't mind donating my penis, it's just that it would need to go to a giant or it will destroy the recipient's posture and then they're gonna need hunchback surgery.

Thanks to Dave L, who agrees it would be weird rocking a dead man's penis. Also, how much size-matching was involved in this process?

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