Cool, Nightmare Fuel: Inside Of Leatherback Turtle Mouth

May 24, 2016


This is the inside of a leatherback turtle's mouth and esophagus. Just what the hell is going on here? EVOLUTION, that's what. That shit looks like Predator's mouth on steroids and GMOs. Man, if my mouth looked like that there's no way I would have ever kissed a girl by now. "But you have?" Of course I have, her lips felt like marshmallows. Not the little ones you put in hot chocolate though, the big ones. Do you believe me now? "No." I don't even believe myself anymore.

Another adaptation that leatherbacks and a few other sea turtles have is called esophageal papillae. These prongs are made of cartilage and line the throat of the turtle, and basically grip on to the jellyfish that it's eating and ensures that it doesn't slip back out as the turtle uses the muscles in its throat to expel excess salt water.

The esophageal papillae also protect the leatherback from the stinging cells for the jellyfish - as you can imagine, the jellyfish don't go down without a fight, so these cartilaginous prongs keep the turtle from being injured by its prey.

Ahhhhh, so they adapted for eating jellyfish. Interesting. I don't eat jellyfish so I'm happy my mouth doesn't need to look like that. Could you imagine having a good friend with a mouth like that who refused to chew with their mouth closed? I would be so skinny. Regardless, one thing's for certain: when it comes to leatherback foreplay, BJs are clearly out of the question.

Keep going for several more shots.




Thanks to Closet Nerd, who's so deep in the closet you wouldn't even suspect he likes Star Wars.

  • MrJimmyCleaver .

    Lovecraft creatures DO exist!

  • Zachary Zarko

    Now we all know exactly what the next Fleshlight insert will look like.

  • da1nonlysage

    They're called anti-rape condoms and were invented by an African woman. They don't look fun

  • Worst article I've ever seen..

  • Closet Nerd

    Imagine what the turtle's vagina looks like?!

  • GeneralDisorder

    No. No. No. NOOOOOO!!! I'm just gonna google it. I'm not guessing.

  • The_Wretched

    Why does the 3rd pic have a riding crop in it? Just being a leatherback turtle doesn't mean it's kinky.

  • Jeedai Infidel

    Just spitballin' here, so bear with me, but if I was to catch one of these guys and bury it with it's mouth open to the sky, wouldn't that be a way to have my own sarlac pit when I play with my old Star Wars toys? Someone tell me it's OK. Please.

  • MustacheHam

    I'm sure the turtle won't dig this and probably slap you and fly away.

  • Jeedai Infidel

    As long as my Boba Fett figure is clinging to it's shell when it happens, then playtime will have been a complete success.

  • shashi
  • BriteSkittle


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