Awww: 9-Year Old Gets Pokemon Card Collection Stolen, Cop Gives Him His Collection

May 25, 2016


9-year old Bryce got his binder of Pokemon cards stolen while walking to a friend's house to trade. Apparently some little jerk a couple years older just ran up and snatched the binder and ran. Bryce's mom called the cops and 26-year old Cleveland police officer James Grotenrath and his partner Ken Kirk responded. Then, after finishing his shift that day, Grotenrath returned to Bryce and gave him his own extensive Pokemon card collection, including a rare, banned card. Now just a minute while I hide all my Star Wars action figures then report a robbery and pray the responding officer also collects Star Wars action figures.

"I grew up with Pokemon, I loved Pokemon as a kid and I would be heartbroken too if my cards were taken from me," Grotenrath said.

[On the rare card he gave Bryce] "It's a banned card of Pokeman and there's only about ten of these in the world and I have one of them," explained Bryce.

"It's a priceless item, but it's better to see someone else smile, and in my book, like my partner says, it's just happy to see a citizen smile instead of always frowning upon us and looking the other way," said Grotenrath.

In even more happy news, police were able to locate the kid who stole Bryce's collection and secure the binder, although several cards were already missing. Police gave the thief a stern "talking to" but didn't file any charges because why not let this kid grow up to be a dirty thief? I would have scared that little shit straight. YOU WANT TO GO TO PRISON, BOY? YOU KNOW WHAT THEY'LL DO TO YOU IN THERE? THEY'LL CHEW YOU UP LIKE A DOG BONE. THEN HACK FOR AWHILE BEFORE COUGHING UP LITTLE PIECES OF YOU ONTO THE CARPET AND RE-CHEWING THEM. "You are sure you aren't being a little rough on him?" Ma'am, please, I'm doing my job. Maybe if you weren't raising such a turd I wouldn't have to be here. "But--" WOOF! WOOF!

Keep going for a video news report.

Thanks to Friedman, who's never had anything taken from him that he hasn't gotten returned because he's Liam Neeson.

  • JimmyThr

    So...Instead of doing his Job and getting the kid's actual collection back he just gives him his own, that's like me reporting that someone robbed a bunch of money from me, and the cop just goes "well it'd be a lot of trouble to find whoever stole your money, but here's a bunch of my money, it's a bunch of outdated Taiwanese money but i'm sure you'll do fine"

  • rjackparis

    really? noone is going to comment on the ancient mew card?

    they gave those away at a screening of pokemon.

  • I have two in my binder still which means I 20% of them in existence. Bow to me.

  • TheQiwiMan

    Oh hey, it's cool that these guys regularly ruin peoples' lives if they have a small amount of plant matter in their pocket that the government forbids you to have, kidnapping them and locking them in jail for years and ruining their prospects of getting decent jobs after the years (or sometimes decades) of their lives are stolen from them. And it's cool that they regularly pull over people for non-crimes like expired tags or going slightly faster than some jag-off bureaucrats think you should and extorting money from them, all while pretending to give a shit about 'serving and protecting' the public..... because this pig gave a kid some Pokemon cards.

    Fuck the police.

    And fuck the Stockholm Syndrome Sheep that look at these brainless thugs with anything less than the contempt that they deserve.

    (And now to gleefully await the waves of butt-hurt mouth-breathers' angry replies. Come at me, bro.)

  • TheOtakuX

    Eh. Speed limits are a good thing, but I agree with you on the rest.

  • TheQiwiMan

    I used to think that too. I'd encourage you to look into that claim, you'd be surprised. There is ample evidence that speed limits are nothing more than 'security theater', gives us the illusion that they have something to do with safety, but that's not actually backed up by any evidence.

    If you don't have the time to read the entire thing, the summary is this: "Lowering speed limits below the 50th percentile does not reduce accidents, but does significantly increase driver violations of the speed limit. Conversely, raising the posted speed limits did not increase speeds or accidents."

    Weird, it's almost as if people already have a vested interest in driving safely, you know, so they don't die. And the people that violate the speed limit would violate it regardless of whatever numbers are on the signs.

    So if speed limits have zero evidence of producing a shred of safety, why do we keep them around?

    "Assuming an average ticket cost of $150.00, the total up front profit from tickets ranges from 3.75 to 7.5 billion dollars " -ANNUALLY. Just another way for the road pirates to rob you (you know, to keep you safe from... road pirates)

    Sorry friend, but Santa Claus isn't real either. :-P

  • dartanian300

    Several of those are Yu-Gi-Oh cards...

  • Cops have Pokemon cards?

    This only PROVES that they are devil worshippers!

  • GeneralDisorder

    I assumed devil worship class was a prerequisite to Police Academy.

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