Simplistic Chart Of How Long Different Animals Live

April 12, 2016


This is a retro chart from Compton's Encyclopedia detailing the average lifespans of a bunch of different animals. I had no idea that carp and swans and gooses and rhinos lived so long. Or earthworms! Can they really live almost ten years? That's gonna make it extra sad every time I see one dried up on the sidewalk. Gone too soon! Also, there don't seem to be a lot of animals in the 70 - 150 year life expectancy. You think we just haven't discovered those species yet, or do you think giant tortoises are actually aliens from another planet and didn't evolve here? Maybe meteorites are really turtles and tortoises. It's not like you've ever seen one hit the ground, we've just been taking science's word for it all this time. Can you help me get this straight-jacket off?

Thanks to Brianna, who tried to tell me lightning bugs are really little pieces of the Aurora Borealis that broke off and flew to earth.

  • Boaty McBoatface

    FYI: might want to take this chart with a grain of salt if the people putting it together can't tell the difference between an Elk and a Moose.

  • cylon_toast

    Dogs do not live longer than cats and usually don't live past 15, so I have no idea what this chart is doing but it's wrong. Also, where are people?

  • points

  • Joel Lamm

    First off, why is there a silhouette of a man with a boner at the 15 year mark?

  • Shaun9lives

    Seems accurate. At 15 I had boners all the time.

  • Joel Lamm

    Damn, another good point! This chart is more accurate than I thought

  • Zirthran

    You mean, ... a man with a wood pecker?

  • Joel Lamm

    Exactly! Now I understand why it is labeled wood pecker. Poor bastard didn't live very long

  • Big Burd

    Fun fact Jellyfish (specifically Turritopsis dohrnii) are biologically immortal, have fun charting that out...

  • MustacheHam

    They left off pigs, they must be immortal...well until someone eats them. :3

  • The_Wretched

    They left off humans? Do we not live?

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